You're not suppose to drink liquids when using the computer cause you might spill...not good for the keyboard. Does crying count??
I seem to cry tears of Joy and missing you a lot tears. They hit at the least expected times. Christmas songs now make me cry, such as "Oh Little town of Bethlehem. I see my kids doing motions to this and then it comes to the second verse where no sound does he make and I think of Drew. So quiet, so full of God. When we sing songs in church I want at times to shout out the words. They are so poignant. I take a breath and after the first word the tears follow so I listen instead and reflect deeply with God and Drew. I was in Applebees last week eating lunch with two friends when the song playing was the first song in the slide show. I was not aware of anyone, anything or where I was till the song ended. I did enjoy the memories though.
Last Saturday evening Dad was watching the video of Drew and I came in on the last 5 minutes and cried with him. I saw the photo of Kari kissing Drew's fuzzy little head and felt the desire to love on a baby. The next morning I was in the nursery and Sherry had to do something so she handed Emmalise to me . She was crying at the time because she wasn't done eating. That made no difference. I had a little warm body with a fuzzy head of hair to snuggle a memory with. Sherry and the other two mothers in there said any time I needed a "fix" all I had to do was say so
I have Drew with me all the time. He and God are constant companions. At times they make their presence felt out loud and I wash my face with a tear. Other times a smile or laugh but mostly with warm fuzzy thoughts. Oh how blessed I am!! Love for now from Grandma Marnie
Thursday, December 18, 2008
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