Hi Drew,
I listened to "your songs" today again at work. I imagine God singing the lulabys to you now. I say hi to you and that I love you each time a "Drew" song plays. somehow that keeps me from crying. The last two days however when 'Godspeed' plays I wash my cheeks with tears. I am sending my love to you on angels wings. Do you feel it? I pray lots for your mommy and daddy. They miss you so...and Peyton such an incredible brother . What a special family you have. I Love you all!
Grandma Marnie
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Still here
Drew is still here in our hearts. Even with all that has been going on with Peyton, I've not forgotten Drew. I still pray for comfort and peace for you all, and I still miss Drew. I still treasure my time with Lincoln more because of Drew. I pray for the people God reached through Drew, and is still reaching through this hospital stay with Peyton and the influence you guys are able to continue having on so many people because of the doors Drew opened there. I held a baby today, and missed Drew.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
So, Lincoln loves the doggie that was Drew's that Kari gave us. I mean, he LOVES it. When he nurses, he keeps one arm around doggie. If I say good-morning to Lincoln, he says, "Woof woof." which means that I need to say good-morning to doggie too. The only time Link will watch Thomas by himself is if Doggie is sitting next to him. I love that reminder of Drew walking around with us all day.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Still thinking. . .
I just wanted to say that I was thinking about Drew today. Thinking about him and seeing pictures, toys, and books that remind me of him still makes me both smile and get teary-eyed.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I came across this website today, and found it so encouraging: http://www.silentgrief.com. I've now read 5 of the one page articles, and I think this is a great site some of you might want to check out. Here are a few of the quotes that I found helpful today.
"Grief is like a chameleon and scorpion bred together. It blends into our lives so deviously that we almost don’t know how it rooted itself so deeply into our being. We hardly can see when it comes and goes. All we know is that it’s there, it’s complicated, and it’s real. Then when we put our guard down and things seem like they are going ok, it strikes us without warning. And it hurts."
"A day of grief has been compared to expending the same amount of energy it would take to dig ditches for eight solid hours."
"Most mothers like to talk about their child, and they should be encouraged to do so. By sharing with others, a mother also has the opportunity to validate that her child was real. That is often the most healing aspect of all in child loss. When others help to acknowledge the life of a child, a mother’s heart no longer feels so alone in grief as she is able to keep her child’s memory alive."
Nicole
"Grief is like a chameleon and scorpion bred together. It blends into our lives so deviously that we almost don’t know how it rooted itself so deeply into our being. We hardly can see when it comes and goes. All we know is that it’s there, it’s complicated, and it’s real. Then when we put our guard down and things seem like they are going ok, it strikes us without warning. And it hurts."
"A day of grief has been compared to expending the same amount of energy it would take to dig ditches for eight solid hours."
"Most mothers like to talk about their child, and they should be encouraged to do so. By sharing with others, a mother also has the opportunity to validate that her child was real. That is often the most healing aspect of all in child loss. When others help to acknowledge the life of a child, a mother’s heart no longer feels so alone in grief as she is able to keep her child’s memory alive."
Nicole
Thursday, December 18, 2008
"warm fuzzy moments"
You're not suppose to drink liquids when using the computer cause you might spill...not good for the keyboard. Does crying count??
I seem to cry tears of Joy and missing you a lot tears. They hit at the least expected times. Christmas songs now make me cry, such as "Oh Little town of Bethlehem. I see my kids doing motions to this and then it comes to the second verse where no sound does he make and I think of Drew. So quiet, so full of God. When we sing songs in church I want at times to shout out the words. They are so poignant. I take a breath and after the first word the tears follow so I listen instead and reflect deeply with God and Drew. I was in Applebees last week eating lunch with two friends when the song playing was the first song in the slide show. I was not aware of anyone, anything or where I was till the song ended. I did enjoy the memories though.
Last Saturday evening Dad was watching the video of Drew and I came in on the last 5 minutes and cried with him. I saw the photo of Kari kissing Drew's fuzzy little head and felt the desire to love on a baby. The next morning I was in the nursery and Sherry had to do something so she handed Emmalise to me . She was crying at the time because she wasn't done eating. That made no difference. I had a little warm body with a fuzzy head of hair to snuggle a memory with. Sherry and the other two mothers in there said any time I needed a "fix" all I had to do was say so
I have Drew with me all the time. He and God are constant companions. At times they make their presence felt out loud and I wash my face with a tear. Other times a smile or laugh but mostly with warm fuzzy thoughts. Oh how blessed I am!! Love for now from Grandma Marnie
I seem to cry tears of Joy and missing you a lot tears. They hit at the least expected times. Christmas songs now make me cry, such as "Oh Little town of Bethlehem. I see my kids doing motions to this and then it comes to the second verse where no sound does he make and I think of Drew. So quiet, so full of God. When we sing songs in church I want at times to shout out the words. They are so poignant. I take a breath and after the first word the tears follow so I listen instead and reflect deeply with God and Drew. I was in Applebees last week eating lunch with two friends when the song playing was the first song in the slide show. I was not aware of anyone, anything or where I was till the song ended. I did enjoy the memories though.
Last Saturday evening Dad was watching the video of Drew and I came in on the last 5 minutes and cried with him. I saw the photo of Kari kissing Drew's fuzzy little head and felt the desire to love on a baby. The next morning I was in the nursery and Sherry had to do something so she handed Emmalise to me . She was crying at the time because she wasn't done eating. That made no difference. I had a little warm body with a fuzzy head of hair to snuggle a memory with. Sherry and the other two mothers in there said any time I needed a "fix" all I had to do was say so
I have Drew with me all the time. He and God are constant companions. At times they make their presence felt out loud and I wash my face with a tear. Other times a smile or laugh but mostly with warm fuzzy thoughts. Oh how blessed I am!! Love for now from Grandma Marnie
sleigh ride
Yesterday I was thinking about the upcoming sleigh ride. 2 years ago we had such fun with Petyon, Landon, and Liam. I got to hold Liam on the ride. I ache to hold Drew this year and have him enjoy the experience as I enjoy him. Just thinking about that caused me to lose it. There are so many things that Drew will not do and it just isn't fair. However, this life is not fair but I still trust and hope for a life that lasts forever in the prescence of God and his people. I will be looking for Drew as I enter my heavenly dwelling. I can't wait to see his smiling face and that fuzzy hair!
Grandad
Grandad
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